One thing I do in regard to the last thing is you said is maybe pull them hard into the opposite extreme, and wait for them to see that fail too. Like, I currently have one characters who deeply believes he is a coward, and is spending his time avoiding conflict. But he is going to swing hard and go "I WON'T BE A COWARD, I WILL JUMP INTO ANY AND EVERY DANGER TO PROVE I AM NOT". I think he might land in a brief coma for that one, I'm not sure yet but it won't be pretty :D