As I told you in chat, this holds a lot of promise; I think trying to force it into 250-300 words isn't going to work because this isn't a two-three beat piece, but something that wants to stretch out and knock the reader out with constant, below the belt jabs.I think this could very well have the potential to be THE definitive drabble for these two of the year. :D

I don't know if you want constructive criticism, but I have some thoughts! <3