This is really brilliant. It's simple but so powerful. You can feel Deon fading on you and just sympathize so hard with Mara and know that she's not going to last much longer and it's the way they both would want it. Even if Deon might protest that she shouldn't be so stupid as to die with/for him.
The imagery and the sensory input works as does his slipping back and forth in time. It's like 20/20 - you never know what you had until it's gone.
I love the idea of them "going home" for that final moment. It's strangely romantic and totally them.
... It also makes me want to write more Mexico AU. Damn you.
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sforzinda
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Date: 2009-12-16 05:25 am (UTC)The imagery and the sensory input works as does his slipping back and forth in time. It's like 20/20 - you never know what you had until it's gone.
I love the idea of them "going home" for that final moment. It's strangely romantic and totally them.
... It also makes me want to write more Mexico AU. Damn you.