First off, hats off to working with a style and scenario that is not something you're used to. It takes nerve. There are some kinks here and there that could use smoothing - in words and flow - but this really serves as a well-done little character piece. It's short but you so clearly captured the various personalities of the participants. They aren't just names; they are people in their own right with their own opinions. There is also humor and love but, below, there is also a growing unease about what is on the horizon, something very true and real to their situation.
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sforzinda
no subject
Date: 2009-12-23 02:49 am (UTC)First off, hats off to working with a style and scenario that is not something you're used to. It takes nerve. There are some kinks here and there that could use smoothing - in words and flow - but this really serves as a well-done little character piece. It's short but you so clearly captured the various personalities of the participants. They aren't just names; they are people in their own right with their own opinions. There is also humor and love but, below, there is also a growing unease about what is on the horizon, something very true and real to their situation.
I approve!